Yes, it’s that time of year again! The Christmas chaos has subsided a bit … at least enough for us to start pondering the annual question which drives so many people crazy every year! Do I go out to a major celebration with hundreds of people and actually feel lonely wishing I was home in front of a warm fire comfortably watching the ball drop in Times Square? Or do I sit home under what sounds like ideal conditions while I wish I was out on the town celebrating with the masses? Regardless of which I choose, I’ll always wonder if it shouldn’t have been the other!

The next New Year’s challenge never gets any easier either. It’s haunted generations before us and will continue to do so for generations to come …

The dreaded New Year’s Resolutions! Too many options to be sure … create them, ignore them, share them, keep them, etc.

This year why not just avoid all the hassle and try something entirely different? Below you’ll find Ten Simple Tips for a Great Year … as rendered by George Carlin, one of the greatest American stand-up comedians, social critic, actor, and author, who won five Grammy Awards for his comedy albums.

Carlin was best known for his “Seven Dirty Words” comedy routine and usually offered more foul language than was necessary to get a laugh. However, he possessed a razor-sharp wit and a creative mind like no other modern day comedian. In fact, he placed second on the Comedy Central list of the 100 greatest stand-up comedians of all time, ahead of Lenny Bruce and behind Richard Pryor.

In spite of his reputation for foul language and negative viewpoints on everyday life, every once in a while he would produce a real thought-provoking gem containing great advice for most everyone. Here’s an example of one of his better “brain dumps.”

SOME THOUGHTS FOR THE NEW YEAR!

Remember, spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever. Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side. Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn’t cost a cent.

Remember, to say, “I love you” to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you. Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again. Give time to love, give time to speak, and give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind.

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

HOW TO STAY YOUNG

1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctor worry about them. That is why you pay him/her.
2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.
3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle. “An idle mind is the devil’s workshop.” And the devil’s name is Alzheimer’s.
4. Enjoy the simple things.
5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person who is with us our entire life, is God & ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.
7. Surround yourself with what you love, whether it’s family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.
8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.
9. Don’t take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, to the next county, to a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is.
10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

If you don’t send this to at least 8 people … who cares?

George Carlin

About Harry K. Jones

Harry K. Jones is a motivational speaker and consultant for AchieveMax®, Inc., a company of professional speakers who provide custom-designed seminars, keynote presentations, and consulting services. Harry's top requested topics include change management, customer service, creativity, employee retention, goal setting, leadership, stress management, teamwork, and time management. For more information on Harry's presentations, please call 800-886-2629 or fill out our contact form.

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We often forget the key roles a mother must play every holiday season in order to insure a wonderful Christmas for everyone involved.

It’s not difficult to imagine the possible frustration and exhaustion which might very well occur while taking on such an imposing responsibility!

Imagine, if you will, a typical mom (if there is such a thing) pausing for a moment to sit down to drop a note to Santa on her own behalf. It might very well read something like this … and justifiably so!

Mom’s Request of Santa

Dear Santa,

I’ve been a good mom all year. I’ve fed, cleaned, and cuddled my two children on demand, visited the doctor’s office more than my doctor, sold 62 cases of candy bars to raise money to plant a shade tree on the school playground, and figured out how to attach nine patches onto my daughter’s Girl Scout sash with staples and a glue gun.

I was hoping you could spread my list out over several Christmases, since I had to write this letter with my son’s red crayon on the back of a receipt in the laundry room between cycles, and who knows when I’ll find anymore free time in the next 18 years.

Here are my Christmas wishes:

I’d like a pair of legs that don’t ache after a day of chasing kids (in any color, except purple, which I already have) and arms that don’t flap in the breeze, but are strong enough to carry a screaming toddler out of the candy aisle in the grocery store. I’d also like a waist, since I lost mine somewhere in the seventh month of my last pregnancy.

If you’re hauling big ticket items this year, I’d like a car with fingerprint resistant windows and a radio that only plays adult music; a television that doesn’t broadcast any programs containing talking animals; and a refrigerator with a secret compartment behind the crisper where I can hide to talk on the phone.

On the practical side, I could use a talking daughter doll that says, “Yes, Mommy” to boost my parental confidence, along with one potty-trained toddler, two kids who don’t fight, and three pairs of jeans that will zip all the way up without the use of power tools.

I could also use a recording of Tibetan monks chanting, “Don’t eat in the living room” and “Take your hands off your brother,” because my voice seems to be just out of my children’s hearing range and can only be heard by the dog.

And please don’t forget the Play-doh Travel Pack, the stocking stuffer this year for mothers of preschoolers. It comes in three fluorescent colors and is guaranteed to crumble on any carpet making the In-laws’ house seem just like mine.

If it’s too late to find any of these products, I’d settle for enough time to brush my teeth and comb my hair in the same morning, or the luxury of eating food warmer than room temperature without it being served in a Styrofoam container.

If you don’t mind, I could also use a few Christmas miracles to brighten the holiday season. Would it be too much trouble to declare ketchup a vegetable? It will clear my conscience immensely. It would be helpful if you could coerce my children to help around the house without demanding payment as if they were the bosses of an organized crime family; or if my toddler didn’t look so cute sneaking downstairs to eat contraband ice cream in his pajamas at midnight.

Well, Santa, the buzzer on the dryer is ringing and my son saw my feet under the laundry room door. I think he wants his crayon back. Have a safe trip and remember to leave your wet boots by the chimney and come in and dry off by the fire so you don’t catch cold.

Help yourself to cookies on the table, but don’t eat too many or leave crumbs on the carpet.

Yours Always,
Mom

About Harry K. Jones

Harry K. Jones is a motivational speaker and consultant for AchieveMax®, Inc., a company of professional speakers who provide custom-designed seminars, keynote presentations, and consulting services. Harry's top requested topics include change management, customer service, creativity, employee retention, goal setting, leadership, stress management, teamwork, and time management. For more information on Harry's presentations, please call 800-886-2629 or fill out our contact form.

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Here’s a cute story about a youngster who wants more than presents for Christmas this year. The curious little guy wants to know Santa’s secret for accomplishing his many magical wonders year after year.

Santa shares his reliance on God to help him spread joy and happiness each year. In sharing his secret, Santa enlists the support of the young man in his never-ending quest. You’ll appreciate the little boy’s reply!

Santa’s Magic

On Christmas Eve a young boy with light in his eyes
Looked deep into Santa’s, to Santa’s surprise,
And said as he nestled on Santa’s broad knee,
“I want your secret. Tell it to me.”
He leaned up and whispered in Santa’s good ear,
“How do you do it, year after year?”

“I want to know how, as you travel about,
Giving gifts here and there, you never run out.
How is it, dear Santa, that in your pack of toys
you have plenty for all of the world’s girls and boys?
Stays so full, never empties, as you make your way
From rooftop to rooftop, to homes large and small,
From nation to nation, reaching them all”

And Santa smiled kindly and said to the boy,
“Don’t ask me hard questions, Don’t you want a toy?”
But the child shook his head, and Santa could see
that he needed the answer. “Now listen to me.”
He told the small boy with the light in his eyes,
“My secret will make you sadder, and wise.

The truth is my sack is magic inside
It holds millions of toys for my Christmas Eve ride.
Although I do visit each girl and each boy
I don’t always leave them a gaily wrapped Toy.
Some homes are hungry, some homes are sad,
Some homes are desperate, some homes are bad.
Some homes are broken, and children there grieve.
Those homes I visit, but what should I leave?”

“My sleigh is filled with the happiest stuff,
But for homes where dispair lives, toys aren’t enough.
So I tip toe in, kiss each girl and boy,
And pray with them they will be give the joy
Of the spirit of Christmas, the spirit that lives
In the heart of the dear child who gets not, but gives.”

If only God hears me and answers my prayer,
When I visit next year, what I will find there
Are homes filled with peace, and with giving and love
And boys and girls gifted with light from above.
It’s a very hard task, my smart little brother,
To give toys to some, and to give prayers to others.
But the prayers are the best gifts, the best gifts indeed,
For God has a way of meeting each need.

“That’s part of the answer. The rest, my dear youth,
Is that my sack is magic. And that is the truth.
In my sack I carry on Christmas Eve Day
More love than a Santa could ever give away.
The sack never empties of love, or of joys
‘Cause inside it are prayers, and hopes, not just toys.
The more that I give, the fuller it seems,
Because giving is my way of fulfilling dreams.

And so do you know something “You’ve got a sack, too.
It’s as magic as mine, and it’s inside of you.
It never gets empty, it’s full from the start.
It’s the center of lights, and of love. It’s your heart.
And if on this Christmas you want to help me,
Don’t be so concerned with the gifts ‘neath your tree.
Open that sack called your heart, and share
Your joy, your friendship, your wealth, your care.”

The light in the small boy’s eyes was glowing.
“Thanks for the secret. I’ve got to be going.”
“Wait, little boy,” said Santa, “don’t go.
Will you share? Will you help? Will you use what you know?”
And just for a moment the small boy stood still,
Touched his heart with his small hand and whispered, “I will.”

About Harry K. Jones

Harry K. Jones is a motivational speaker and consultant for AchieveMax®, Inc., a company of professional speakers who provide custom-designed seminars, keynote presentations, and consulting services. Harry's top requested topics include change management, customer service, creativity, employee retention, goal setting, leadership, stress management, teamwork, and time management. For more information on Harry's presentations, please call 800-886-2629 or fill out our contact form.

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There is much to love about this time of the year … both spiritual and secular. There are many special traditions I’ve personally enjoyed over the decades and others will continue to savor for years to come. These traditions would, of course, include the weather, decorations, food, music, etc. One of those many rituals happens to be the sharing of Christmas stories in word and song.

As a youngster, I always enjoyed songs about Santa, Frosty the Snowman, Suzy Snowflake, etc. One of my all-time favorites was “Rudolph, The Red-Nosed Reindeer.” I’m not really sure exactly why, but I do remember personally identifying with this charming character. Maybe it was because he was different, maybe because he was a role model … it may even be because the song was sung by a popular cowboy from my childhood, Gene Autry. It doesn’t really matter. I just remember Rudolph was special.

Ironically, all of these years later, I recently learned the interesting true story behind this Christmas classic which sold more records (remember records?) than any holiday song other than “White Christmas”!

I received the following information from a close friend I’ve known for far too many years to mention. I thought those of you who have enjoyed this song as I have would find it terribly interesting as well. Enjoy and share.

The True Story Behind Rudolph, the Red-nosed Reindeer

A man named Bob May, depressed and brokenhearted, stared out his drafty apartment window into the chilling December night.

His 4-year-old daughter Barbara sat on his lap quietly sobbing. Bob’s wife, Evelyn, was dying of cancer. Little Barbara couldn’t understand why her mommy could never come home. Barbara looked up into her dad’s eyes and asked, “Why isn’t Mommy just like everybody else’s mommy?” Bob’s jaw tightened and his eyes welled with tears. Her question brought waves of grief, but also of anger. It had been the story of Bob’s life. Life always had to be different for Bob.

Small when he was a kid, Bob was often bullied by other boys. He was too little at the time to compete in sports. He was often called names he’d rather not remember. From childhood, Bob was different and never seemed to fit in. Bob did complete college, married his loving wife and was grateful to get his job as a copywriter at Montgomery Ward during the Great Depression. Then he was blessed with his little girl. But it was all short-lived. Evelyn’s bout with cancer stripped them of all their savings and now Bob and his daughter were forced to live in a two-room apartment in the Chicago slums. Evelyn died just days before Christmas in 1938.

Bob struggled to give hope to his child, for whom he couldn’t even afford to buy a Christmas gift. But if he couldn’t buy a gift, he was determined to make one—a storybook! Bob had created an animal character in his own mind and told the animal’s story to little Barbara to give her comfort and hope. Again and again Bob told the story, embellishing it more with each telling. Who was the character? What was the story all about? The story Bob May created was his own autobiography in fable form. The character he created was a misfit outcast like he was. The name of the character? A little reindeer named Rudolph, with a big shiny nose. Bob finished the book just in time to give it to his little girl on Christmas Day. But the story doesn’t end there.

The general manager of Montgomery Ward caught wind of the little storybook and offered Bob May a nominal fee to purchase the rights to print the book. Montgomery Ward went on to print Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer and distribute it to children visiting Santa Claus in its stores. By 1946 Montgomery Ward had printed and distributed more than six million copies of Rudolph. That same year, a major publisher wanted to purchase the rights from Montgomery Ward to print an updated version of the book.

In an unprecedented gesture of kindness, the CEO of Montgomery Ward returned all rights back to Bob May. The book became a best seller. Many toy and marketing deals followed and Bob May, now remarried with a growing family, became wealthy from the story he created to comfort his grieving daughter. But the story doesn’t end there either.

Bob’s brother-in-law, Johnny Marks, made a song adaptation to Rudolph. Though the song was turned down by such popular vocalists as Bing Crosby and Dinah Shore, it was recorded by the singing cowboy, Gene Autry. “Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer” was released in 1949 and became a phenomenal success, selling more records than any other Christmas song, with the exception of “White Christmas.”

About Harry K. Jones

Harry K. Jones is a motivational speaker and consultant for AchieveMax®, Inc., a company of professional speakers who provide custom-designed seminars, keynote presentations, and consulting services. Harry's top requested topics include change management, customer service, creativity, employee retention, goal setting, leadership, stress management, teamwork, and time management. For more information on Harry's presentations, please call 800-886-2629 or fill out our contact form.

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Let’s start by sharing a level playing field here. I fully realize that PC means different things to different people. For that reason, I “googled” PC to be safe. To my surprise, I found 188 separate definitions … far more than I ever anticipated!

However, for the purpose of this piece I want to focus on one definition. While Personal Computer may first come to mind … let’s discuss “Politically Correct” for a moment.

For the past week, our Washington politicians have looked more like chameleons than lawmakers. To protect their own careers, the majority of them are moving to positions they feel will garner them votes in the future … regardless of political affiliation, past beliefs, or what’s best for the nation.

While it’s shameful to witness on both sides of the aisle, something must be done about it before it’s too late. The last few weeks of 2010 are going to be very interesting to watch and critical to the future of our country.

A critical aside to this unfolding drama lies in the harsh reality that Political Correctness must be diminished before it spreads like an aggressive cancer into every aspect of our lives.

Here’s a perfect example of what I mean. We’ve all heard and grown to love the traditional classic The Night Before Christmas. Many have even committed it to memory after having recited it or enjoyed hearing it year after year.

If things don’t change, you may very well have to learn the Politically Correct version of this classic—which may be a bit more difficult to recite and much less enchanting to hear. What do you think?

A Politically Correct Christmas Poem

Twas the night before Christmas and Santa’s a wreck …
How to live in a world that’s politically correct?
His workers no longer would answer to “Elves”,
“Vertically Challenged” they were calling themselves.
And labor conditions at the North Pole,
were alleged by the union, to stifle the soul.

Four reindeer had vanished without much propriety,
released to the wilds, by the Humane Society.
And equal employment had made it quite clear,
that Santa had better not use just reindeer.
So Dancer and Donner, Comet and Cupid,
were replaced with 4 pigs, and you know that looked stupid!

The runners had been removed from his beautiful sleigh,
because the ruts were deemed dangerous by the EPA,
And millions of people were calling the Cops,
when they heard sled noises upon their roof tops.
Second-hand smoke from his pipe, had his workers quite frightened,
and his fur trimmed red suit was called “unenlightened”.

To show you the strangeness of today’s ebbs and flows,
Rudolf was suing over unauthorized use of his nose.
He went to Geraldo, in front of the Nation,
demanding millions in over-due workers compensation.

So … half of the reindeer were gone, and his wife
who suddenly said she’d had enough of this life,
joined a self help group, packed and left in a whiz,
demanding from now on that her title was Ms.

And as for gifts … why, he’d never had the notion
that making a choice could cause such commotion.
Nothing of leather, nothing of fur …
Which meant nothing for him or nothing for her.
Nothing to aim, Nothing to shoot,
Nothing that clamored or made lots of noise.
Nothing for just girls and nothing for just boys.
Nothing that claimed to be gender specific,
Nothing that’s warlike or non-pacifistic.

No candy or sweets … they were bad for the tooth.
Nothing that seemed to embellish upon the truth.
And fairy tales … while not yet forbidden,
were like Ken and Barbie, better off hidden,
for they raised the hackles of those psychological,
who claimed the only good gift was one ecological.

No baseball, no football… someone might get hurt,
besides – playing sports exposed kids to dirt.
Dolls were said to be sexist and should be passe.
and Nintendo would rot your entire brain away.

So Santa just stood there, disheveled and perplexed,
he just couldn’t figure out what to do next?
He tried to be merry he tried to be gay,
but you must have to admit he was having a very bad day.
His sack was quite empty, it was flat on the ground,
nothing fully acceptable was anywhere to be found.

Something special was needed, a gift that he might,
give to us all, without angering the left or the right.
A gift that would satisfy—with no indecision,
each group of people in every religion.
Every race, every hue,
everyone, everywhere … even you!
So here is that gift, it’s price beyond worth …

“MAY YOU AND YOUR LOVED ONES, ENJOY PEACE ON EARTH”

About Harry K. Jones

Harry K. Jones is a motivational speaker and consultant for AchieveMax®, Inc., a company of professional speakers who provide custom-designed seminars, keynote presentations, and consulting services. Harry's top requested topics include change management, customer service, creativity, employee retention, goal setting, leadership, stress management, teamwork, and time management. For more information on Harry's presentations, please call 800-886-2629 or fill out our contact form.

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Adoption is usually thought to be a long-term situation resulting in a number of considerations before making a commitment.

Sadly, not everyone is in a position to be of permanent assistance to those many in need.

However, seasonal adoptions are another story altogether. There are a number of options here which allow most anyone to adopt someone for the holiday season … by sharing love and attention in a way which will be long remembered and always appreciated.

Let’s take a look at just a few of the many options available:

Open Your Home

Think for a moment about your current circle of acquaintances. Do you know a college student who won’t be able to travel home this Christmas? How about a co-worker with no relatives? Have new neighbors moved into your area? Are you aware of a recently widowed church member? Think of these folks as extended family and invite them to share your holiday dinner. You’ll enjoy the experience as much as they’ll appreciate it!

Adopt a Grandparent

Contact one of the many nursing centers or retirement homes in your area and request the name of a lonely, aged resident. Make him/her your honorary grandparent. Visit, call and bring them thoughtful gifts. Invite them over for dinner. Give freely of your time and remember to continue the relationship throughout the year.

Become an Angel

Take advantage of opportunities during December to reach out to others in your community. Contribute to the mall mitten tree, to a single parent through your local civic club, or to a homeless teenager through a local shelter. Fill their request, slip in a luxury item or two, and do it with the same generosity of spirit you’d show your own children.

Join a Team

Contact local homeless shelters, food banks, or soup kitchens to find out how you can be of assistance this year. Your support may be needed to serve food to those in need, help wrap gifts that have been donated to the shelter so the residents can enjoy the experience of unwrapping a holiday surprise, or maybe assist in decorating the shelter or putting up the Christmas tree.

Focus on the Essentials

If possible, collect and deliver the many essentials needed for those less fortunate. Provide warm coats, blankets, hats, scarves, gloves, blankets and clothes for those in need.

Buy canned goods and other nonperishable items and deliver them to a soup kitchen or food bank. Donate paper goods such as toilet paper and paper towels to the shelter.

Reap the Benefits

The example you set for your children and/or grandchildren by assisting the less fortunate this Christmas will encourage them to continue this kindness in the coming years. The additional blessing to your family will provide warm memories for many years to come!

About Harry K. Jones

Harry K. Jones is a motivational speaker and consultant for AchieveMax®, Inc., a company of professional speakers who provide custom-designed seminars, keynote presentations, and consulting services. Harry's top requested topics include change management, customer service, creativity, employee retention, goal setting, leadership, stress management, teamwork, and time management. For more information on Harry's presentations, please call 800-886-2629 or fill out our contact form.

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